Tiara-Ra » Life

Line of the day

Tiara — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:33:56 +0000

You know it will always just be me.

-Lying is the best thing a girl can do without taking her clothes off, Panic at the Disco

thinking at 5am

Tiara — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 21:00:17 +0000

5am. The normal people are just waking up. I can hear the clang of the dishes and pans, the dog barking, the lone rooster crowing…and the swish of my neighbor’s broom outside.

Ah. Normal people. It’s been a while since I’ve considered myself a normal person. I work the graveyard shift, been doing it for almost 2 years now. So when most people are about to start their day, I am about to end mine.

I spend most of the day sound asleep, waking up only when really necessary. My days start when the sun’s no longer out, when most people are just about to have their last meal of the day.

If it’s my rest day I would wake up around 10 pm, or if I’m really tired, around 11 or 12 midnight. It’s almost like your normal schedule but on a different time line.

I wake up, take a bath, and forage for food. Since there are no malls or vintage stores open at this hour, I am left with the following options:

1. Turn the tv on and channel surf all night.

2. A DVD marathon with any series I’m currently interested in. The last one I watched was The Mentalist, Season 2. I’m the type who wouldn’t leave the screen till I’ve watched all episodes in the disk. Yes, I have that much energy. Lol.

3. Tinker. I have a budding interest in web development so there are nights when all I do is tinker with my existing projects, go over code, and drown myself in countless tutorials from blogs and youtube.

4. Net surf/chat/telebabad. Some of my friends have adapted to my weird schedule. Calls and chats about what’s going on in our lives are done in the wee hours of the morning. Even the ex had to adapt to my sched. Teehee.

5. Drink and be merry. On rare, okay, not so rare occasions, I would go out with friends, hang out at a bar and drink. Depending on the group I’m with it could be drink and videoke, drink and dancing, or just drink and conversation. The latter I usually do with friends from the university, something I don’t get to do a lot nowadays.

Sometimes I think of leaving this job and get the usual 8 to 5pm job. Would a regular job chase away the restlessness that I feel? I have been thinking of moving to a new place but I don’t really know. I thought of Baguio but that plan didn’t really work out. Cebu, maybe?

Makati’s okay, I actually like it here… but there’s this yearning to see and move to another city, another place. A friend said all I needed was a new job, a change of scenery… Maybe she’s right. I’ve outgrown the account and it’s time to move on to greener pastures. Problem is, I just don’t know where yet.

Dads are strange

Tiara — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 16:34:54 +0000

Domestic Men of Mystery. An interesting read on fathers’ day.

A strange encounter at the airport

Tiara — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:37:19 +0000

I was waiting at the terminal area, one sunny morning, when a young woman sat beside me. She was about 17, had dark brown skin, and doe eyed.

Not wanting to be disturbed, I plugged my earphones in and drowned the world out with Muse’s latest album, The Resistance. Just to be sure, I opened my copy of Time mag and started flipping through the pages.

The lady didn’t get it. A few minutes later she was tapping my shoulder, calling for my attention.

“Miss pwede ba magamit yung phone mo? May kailangan lang akong tawagan…”

What? I’m not that naive sister. I told her there were a lot of payphones around that she can use. This was NAIA terminal 3, not the mountains, for god’s sake.

“Importante lang po, di po kasi gumagana yung payphone…di pa kasi alam ng pamilya ko na darating ako…”

I looked at her, trying to gauge if she really needed help. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I asked for the number and offered to make the call for her instead.

She refused to give the phone number, saying she’d rather dial the number herself.

Spell fishy for me please? I am not that gullible. I told her I’m not comfortable letting other people use my phone. If she really needed help, she can approach customer service and ask for help.

The lady finally realized I wasn’t about to give her my phone so she stood up, said thanks and left.

Fast forward to a few days later, a similar story was on the news and the poor gal handed over not just one but two of her phones. Poor kid.

On most days I am a klutz (you can ask my friends…haha) but not when I’m traveling. Most of the time I leave the city alone and then meet my friends or contacts somewhere, and when I do, the paranoid in me takes over.

Possible cellphone snatcher/robber = 0. Tiara’s paranoia = 1.

I win this round.

It’s over

Tiara — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 12:08:07 +0000

It’s my fault, not yours. I’m sorry.

Friends?

(The message I was too afraid to send…so I posted it here instead. Hope he gets to read this.)

Feels good to be back

Tiara — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 19:20:17 +0000

Feels a little strange to be back… but I’m glad. I missed this.

I really like this

Tiara — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 20:31:54 +0000

Children
Khalil Gibran

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, ‘Speak to us of Children.’

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

The End

Tiara — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 18:20:16 +0000

I no longer love him, that’s certain, but maybe I love him.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

*Grabbed from Pablo Neruda’s ‘Tonight I can write the saddest lines’.

9am

Tiara — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 01:58:33 +0000

I slept the whole day. I should have gone out for dinner but opted to stay in and just rest. My body’s been screaming for rest for about a week now, but stubborn kid that I am, I chose to ignore it.

It’s been a week since I had a full 8 hour sleep. A week of talking about problems, after shift drinks with my officemates, the cold (which didn’t stop me from going out anyway), and night outs with my friends… no wonder I feel so weak.

Next week I’ll be a better friend to my body.

Tired and disappointed

Tiara — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:09:23 +0000

I thought everything was going to be okay, that the problems we all had back in January and December have been worked on.

Apparently there’s more, and yes, more of my friends are leaving.

I am so tired of seeing friends leave. And disappointed that many of those I used to look up to don’t seem to care at all.

I know I said I’ll stay for another year. I am determined to last another year. But with the way things are going, it looks like this year will be stressful as hell.