Tiara-Ra

Yikes. It’s time again for the most harrowing part of being in the school paper: press work. I’m quite sure this will be another week filled with sleepless nights and endless nagging. The latter of course, would mean me nagging all the writers. hehe.

Good thing we now have our own office. Whew. I can’t imagine the whole staff spending days in our boarding house, with all the computers. hehe. Good for me since I use a laptop but our layout artists use desktops. And, take note, these are big and bulky desktops. Too bad the administration won’t provide us a working computer. Last time they offered to give us one unit. Boy, we were so glad, only to find out that the computer is a dinosaur and still runs on windows 98. Like hello!

So we’re off to using our own resources. Dan, our assoc ed/layout artist lugs his own computer to the office, and so does lyan, his assistant. Only difference I guess is that Dan’s much lighter because he uses a flat screen monitor. O di ba sosyal? hehe. Sigh. Can’t wait for this week to be over. I need to sleep sooo bad. Next week doesn’t bode well for me too, we still have the Himati magazine to think of. grr.

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I am a big sucker for privacy. I let other people enter and tinker with my life, yes, but they can do so because I allow them to. There are only a few–my room mates, close friends, and colleagues.  It’s okay actually. But what I can’t take is when other people attempt to barge into my life, creating and spreading stories about me, making assumptions, using rumors to make themselves look better in the eyes of the group.

I know I shouldn’t care about her. I swore before I won’t waste my time talking or discussing her actions. But being the editor in chief does not leave me much of a choice–the student council after all remains to be the highest representation of the students. Actually I don’t deal with her at all. I have other more important things to do. What worries me is that most of the writers hate being assigned to do a story about them. Well. Given what she and her stooges usually does, who wouldn’t?

And now, she even found the time to meddle with my affairs. What a bitch. I am doing my job. Himati is doing well, I have the best members I can probably get( a very loyal bunch), and we never fail to deliver. The board was chosen a bit late, yes, but that was not our fault. How about them? They were elected last March, they had all summer to bond, to plan, and the human resources to implement their activities, but what have they been doing the past few months?

Relevant issues came and went, but we never heard them speak. A common question nowadays when the topic is brought up: oh? they exist pala? haha. Maybe she should fix that first before trying to spread stories about me.

I’ve tried to protect their institution to the best that I can for months now, making excuses for them when they fail to show up during scheduled interviews or when they pass the writer from one councilor to another, or when they don’t answer their phones, then feed us with lame excuses later on. Yeah, she didn’t receive messages or a call from this writer, but she managed to ask who I was when I rang her phone that same night. Weird huh?

Feedback about them is bad. There’s no denying that. So a piece of advice for you girl: Fix your story, your alibis, and your group first before trying to even meddle with mine. You want to be seen as the hero in the confrat? Go on. I don’t mind. You’re not much of an asset anyway. You can’t even deal properly with the members. And you call yourself a student leader? Wow. At least I don’t claim to be one.

She’s here. I was with her today, and she had the gall to act like nothing happened. I smiled, I talked, and went on like it was a normal conversation. But I don’t forget easily. Not the bruises. Not the tirades. Not the hurtful words. Those will stay forever, buried, but never to be forgotten.

I don’t forget. I try not to hold grudges but I don’t forget. To forget would mean I will have to accept her once again. No. I’m not weak enough to do that.

She never was what she should have been. And on the first chance she could get she left. Why? I don’t ever want to know. I know enough.

Come back. Stay here. Or leave. It won’t make a difference. Not really. The burden has been passed to the next generation-me.

I am young. Too young to think of such big responsibilities. I dream. I want. But those are not to be indulged…because she had to give in to her own.

Selfish bitch.

A big part of my university life is the sorority I’m in and of course our male counterpart, the fraternity. I joined Pi Sigma – Pi Sigma Delta way back in my early years in up, and despite all the bad flak about fraternities, I’d like to believe that we’re different. One can actually check our records and find that it’s clean, we don’t involve ourselves in rumbles and has always prided in the fraternity’s ability to produce good student leaders.

But like all fraternities and sororities we have certain rules to follow. One rule I didn’t expect I would be tested on is the ‘assuming everything else is equal, give the position/favor to the brod or sis’. I didn’t assume mainly because my friends and brods or sisses rarely want something similar. Not until himati came that is.

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