I’ve never been in love. Oh I fancied myself in love for a time or two but never really felt that strong emotion you usually read or hear about in talk shows.

Cynical and independent to a point, I’ve always steered away from strong and emotionally wracking relationships. My friend, however, seems to revel in the whirlwind route of falling in and out of love. It was as if she could not define herself without a beau by her side, so when she called me to say she was heart broken, I wasn’t surprised.

I responded with the usual yes, I know, I understand, almost as if I was talking to one of our clients at work. But when I heard a very familiar name I backtracked and started listening to her ramblings. After hearing the whole story out I wanted to strangle her skinny neck.

She broke up with her ex because she made up with another ex who’s nothing but an asshole who could never make up his mind if he wanted her or not. I let out a scathing, ‘Haven’t you learned your lesson at all? He broke your heart when we were younger,  what made you think he wouldn’t do it again?” But she broke down in tears, out of regret for the perfectly okay relationship she left to be with another guy or for losing the guy she broke things for, I don’t really know.

What a mess and boy am I glad I’m not in the middle of it. She asked me what I would do if I was in her shoes, and I gave an evasive answer. How could I? I’ve never been good at having relationships, okay, let me correct that, long term relationships.

I’m so good at running away that I hardly noticed the whole scenario has been a recurrent cycle in my life. When kakay pointed out the pattern I was stumped. I was doing that all along? Oh my.

Then again I rarely get embroiled in drama which at present suits me just fine. Her life is like a rollercoaster and I’m pretty sure I don’t have the time for the stomach clenching, heart clutching experience we call love. (add the fact that I’m not a big fan of roller coasters)

But I did give her an advice, a shitty one: stay away from boys we knew back in school.

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